Relationships
I have had a unique friendship with someone who, on the surface, could not be more different from me. his name is Mahmoud. when I first met him at the university of Khartoum, I was almost certain that we would never become close. not because of conflict, not because of incompatibility in values, but because he represented something I was instinctively afraid of.
I don’t usually overthink how people read my titles. learning to be bothered , learning to feel again , those who are around me would probably get it. but I’m not writing for strangers anyway. I write to make things clearer to myself. and what I keep coming back to is this pattern in the things I choose to write about: the basic human functionalities, the ones everyone else seemed to pick up without thinking. politeness, warmth, asking for help, letting people in. I had to learn all of those. I was raised well, yes, but I had to do a lot of it alone. sometimes with the help of someone older who took the time. mostly by myself.
Following up with Wren, and after consulting doctors, it turned out that on the same day I shared with him what a doctor had told me about his medical numbers, he received his latest diagnosis results. thankfully, his blood pressure had returned to normal. there was no persistent hypertension. it was also very unlikely that he was diabetic, as the doctors initially suggested.
He felt relief. he was happy, and so was I. it had been a very long time since I followed up this closely with a friend. this one was special. as I helped someone passing through something I once been through, and I know for sure the complications it would lead to. Wren is now more aware. I saw him today posting a video in his personal space about how he has started to see things clearly. how doubt is slowly turning into clarity.
I told the story of things we never expect to happen to us to a friend today. while listening, he paused and made a simple remark. he asked me why, out of all the people around him, he chose to talk to me about this.
I had not thought about that before.
The question forced me to re examine that friendship, or me and Wren, and the role I played in his life. honestly, it was not much. we enjoyed each other’s company. we hung out only a few times. nothing that would normally qualify as closeness.
A friend of mine called Mahmoud , I have loved this friend so much. unfortunately he was also a victim of my constant avoidance , but we are good now. Mahmoud and I were completely different personalities, yet something linked us at the core. thankfully to this relationship, I finally had a name for it. we were the only ones who allowed themselves to get lost.
when it comes to giving advice, I’ve become economical with my words. I take things slowly, often saying maybe later, or not now.