Identity

You’re just forgetful.

There is one attribute that almost all the people around me seem to know about, because I keep talking about it a lot: I find it difficult to remember both people and places, I forget things very easily.

I was waiting so badly to join university, high school had not been kind to me. It was not catastrophic, but it was deeply unpleasing. I did not feel at home there. I felt like I was passing through something I had to endure rather than something I could grow inside. I didn’t like it at all.

There is a famous Viktor Frankl quote:
“When a man can’t find a deep sense of meaning, he distracts himself with pleasure.”

This piece of writing was part of an article I’m writing, about how I would help someone answering the question of “what do I want to do”, where I discuss how to pick a major and what helps you to define the way you contribute to this world. I found the draft of the article to be very lengthy, I may expected the reader to be aware of different notions upfront, so I preferred this topic to be referenced here. As many of my drafts are pointing to it.

The velocity at which I’m updating my beliefs about the world has never been known to be slow; saying “Oops” and updating my beliefs implies updating my behavior if needed. This oscillating pattern of behavior has been defining the kind and amount of love I receive in this world, updating a behavior is either bringing me joy by interacting with people, loving myself, or appreciating the world, or has led me to a series of overwhelm led by the need to solve the questions I’m cornered with.

To nerd out and talk about a particular topic that you are deeply interested in/ obsessed with, requires you to unveil part of yourself. Your personality, your affection, your love for that topic. Often, it feels like dancing in the symphony of that subject(my analogy is very consumed, but I feel it holds true here).