Identity
“What you can’t say owns you. what you hide controls you.” — something my brother Mustafa kept as a bio, somewhere around 2016
I do not complain about the life I am living.
I do not point fingers at the surroundings anymore.
I used to do that, a lot, but I stopped.
now I look inward and stay there.
and sometimes a quiet question rises.
what if I never stopped blaming the world and allowed it to carry my pain for me.
what if naming the environment was easier than naming myself.
A friend of mine called Mahmoud , I have loved this friend so much. unfortunately he was also a victim of my constant avoidance , but we are good now. Mahmoud and I were completely different personalities, yet something linked us at the core. thankfully to this relationship, I finally had a name for it. we were the only ones who allowed themselves to get lost.
People often mistake my quiet and nerdy appearance for having a specific type. they assume I prefer introverted friends, or that I naturally gravitate toward people who love science, numbers, psychology, and all the things I seem to be interested in. they think similarity is the easiest way to reach me.
And then I’m surprised because… I guess I’m surprised because people care, cause I think, when I was young growing up, I felt like nobody cared, and you put up all these things inside of you because nobody cares, and then you happen upon a small moment where somebody really cares, and it just disproves everything you ever knew about the world, and that is surprising. Theo von
They pose as humans even though they have no understanding of the human heart
Lawliet