Guilt
I told the story of things we never expect to happen to us to a friend today. while listening, he paused and made a simple remark. he asked me why, out of all the people around him, he chose to talk to me about this.
I had not thought about that before.
The question forced me to re examine that friendship, or me and Wren, and the role I played in his life. honestly, it was not much. we enjoyed each other’s company. we hung out only a few times. nothing that would normally qualify as closeness.
The Plates in The Chimney Flue
The moment I stopped running from what I was avoiding , I lost the ability to block it again .
Thoughts rushed in, not one by one, but in clusters. some arrived without me knowing, leaking through without me noticing. others appeared fully formed, things I never knew existed inside me, I started asking questions that felt almost foreign.
Are these my thoughts? Are these my beliefs? how did I ever believe some of these things, even subconsciously?, Where is this fear coming from. is it one source, or many ?