Growth

Action Influences Thought and Not The Other Way Around.

Most self help books sell you the same idea in different packaging: fix your mind first, then your life will follow. cultivate the right thoughts. visualize the outcome. build the belief before you build anything else.

Indeed there is truth in that, thoughts do shape action, I agree. but there is a half of the equation that nobody talks about, the feedback running in the other direction. action shapes thought. and it does, faster, and more permanently, than thinking ever could.

One of the most common questions I get is how I managed to learn so many media formats in such a short amount of time. people often assume I learned everything simultaneously. that is not true.

Recently, I’ve been working on the reproducibility of machine learning research. In practice, this meant doing far more infrastructure work than actual machine learning modeling. I found myself digging into operating systems, containers, storage, and hardware details. and suddenly, I started questioning everything, not because it wasn’t interesting, but because I was drifting away from the kind of problems that originally made me fall in love with machine learning.

Today I folded the first twenty one years of my life, years I can’t repeat or replay. I thank Allah for blessing me to live this long. Those first 21 years were upheavals.

It’s May 6, and I will be turning 21 in less than a month. I used to document at this time of the year, where I try as much as possible to reflect on the progress made this year, perhaps my learning process.

Things I was wrong about

Recently, I came to the realization: I’m not giving people what they deserve. I don’t make it easy for them to stay close to me, not only strangers, but even the people who care about me the most. I build walls, my mood is forever changing around them, and constantly not around. And I know this is wrong. I noticed that at the beginning of relationships, I can match people’s energy effortlessly, but over time I gradually drift back into being distant and cold. It feels unfair, it’s hypocrisy. either I shouldn’t appear friendly in the first place, or I should remain consistent with the way I start. which is being friendly forever.