Growth
Recently, I’ve been working on the reproducibility of machine learning research. In practice, this meant doing far more infrastructure work than actual machine learning modeling. I found myself digging into operating systems, containers, storage, and hardware details. and suddenly, I started questioning everything, not because it wasn’t interesting, but because I was drifting away from the kind of problems that originally made me fall in love with machine learning.
Today I folded the first twenty one years of my life, years I can’t repeat or replay. I thank Allah for blessing me to live this long. Those first 21 years were upheavals.
It’s May 6, and I will be turning 21 in less than a month. I used to document at this time of the year, where I try as much as possible to reflect on the progress made this year, perhaps my learning process.
Things I was wrong about
Recently, I came to the realization: I’m not giving people what they deserve. I don’t make it easy for them to stay close to me, not only strangers, but even the people who care about me the most. I build walls, my mood is forever changing around them, and constantly not around. And I know this is wrong. I noticed that at the beginning of relationships, I can match people’s energy effortlessly, but over time I gradually drift back into being distant and cold. It feels unfair, it’s hypocrisy. either I shouldn’t appear friendly in the first place, or I should remain consistent with the way I start. which is being friendly forever.
I’m not sure if it exactly look as I imagine it
Zeinab
The first time I encountered this idea was when talking to Zeinab Sami 016 FMSI, while I insisted that she must study how stochastic processes are involved in machine learning, she responded with something that falls into the idea: “Your perception of this major might be different from the reality.”
It is almost always the case that I avoid giving productivity tips or life hacks, anything that would make someone life better through accomplishing a task, as I see that it has nothing to do with applying tips and tricks more than having a mindset. for example if someone is having the mindset of becoming better, they would pay attention to advices, and eventually sticking to habits would be easier.