a7@github.io ~ $

Posts

Standards, Thoughfulness and Care

Working with me used to be difficult, I am a high performer. I tend to do things with care, down to the small details, and I expect a basic level of thoughtfulness from the people I work with. not to overcomplicate life, and not to control others, but to make sure things are done properly.

Career Advice, AI and Learning How to Code

I remember my friend Awab sharing a thoughtful reading recommendation from the LessWrong community titled You will be OK . it is both a clarification and a gentle reminder of different ways to think and act under the existential threat of AI, written as a response to concerns raised by a young community member in Turning 20 in the probable pre-apocalypse .

Worrying About It Later

I do not remember exactly whereIfirst learned the sentence “worry about it later”. but over time, it revealed itself as something deeper than advice. it describes a mental mechanism that works almost automatically in my mind. a form of being selectively ignorant about certain things, not because they do not matter, but because they do not matter now.

Choosing Not To Drift

The only real distinction between me and many of my friends is that I seek truth as a need, not as a pastime. I have spent most of my life trying to understand the world we live in, its physical reality, its existential questions, and its moral structure. what widens this distinction is that I do not treat understanding as an instrument for enjoyment or intellectual vanity. I seek it because I need it. I need it to make better decisions, and to quiet the confusion that once crowded my mind.

Learning To Be Bothered

Either at work or in daily life, car horns for no reason. someone dragging their feet without lifting them. cutting a public service queue. leaving clothes in the gym changing room instead of the locker. a bank agent typing five words per minute. an uber driver talking on the phone. someone playing a video on the metro without headphones.

Good Times For a Change

Change is not only about will power. you can fight your inner conflicts . you can decide to improve . you can push yourself daily. but there is another factor that matters just as much: timing. some forms of change does not happen just because you want it to. it happens when life gives it space to grow. it happens when conditions are in favorable.

Veteran Of The World, Defeated Inside

Hardships of life are less hard to endure than living in my head.
Than having an internal conflict.

Worst Feeling Ever
If you were to ask me what the worst feeling is, I would not choose one single emotion. it is not anger alone. not grief alone. not sadness or longing by themselves. the worst feeling is when they all gather at once. tension born from emotional suppression. confusion layered over alienation. longing mixed with hopelessness. pressure sitting beside grief. anger tangled with sadness. it is not one storm. it is many storms colliding in the same sky.
Never Losing Control Between Good and Bad

The most important of these skills, and power’s crucial foundation, is the ability to master your emotions. An emotional response to a situation is the single greatest barrier to power,

Can Someone Please Tell Me I'm Wrong

I remember that particular day. I was heading to the University Of Khartoum. I took the city train. I was standing. there were no seats left. my head was facing the floor, and the train was moving. I was just there.