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“I think it’s important for people to present themselves as they are, which is messy, because to present yourself as perfect sets up an unfair standard for other people to live by.”
— Simon Sinek

I had a friend I met online who struggled with social anxiety. He used to tell me how he panicked at the idea of going to the university. I knew he wasn’t lying, but part of me couldn’t truly believe it, that a psychological disorder could control someone that much. I was telling him: you just needed to stop overthinking that people will hurt you, remind yourself there’s no reason to be afraid, and call it a day. Yes, I was ignorant. I tried to convince him to change something he couldn’t change, to “overcome it,” as if these were only voices in his head.

The velocity at which I’m updating my beliefs about the world has never been known to be slow; saying “Oops” and updating my beliefs implies updating my behavior if needed. This oscillating pattern of behavior has been defining the kind and amount of love I receive in this world, updating a behavior is either bringing me joy by interacting with people, loving myself, or appreciating the world, or has led me to a series of overwhelm led by the need to solve the questions I’m cornered with.

I used to think that if someone starts thinking about “quitting something,” then they are already declining, and there won’t be a lot of time until they quit. Here, I’m interested in quitting things you once desired or set for yourself, out of reliable or reliable intrinsic or extrinsic motivator.

You don’t know about real loss, because that only occurs when you love something more than you love yourself. I doubt you’ve ever dared to love anybody that much.
Sean, Good Will Hunting (Park Bench Scene)

I get asked:

How do you deal with ordinary people? The ones that don’t bother you? and when does it start that they enter your life?

To nerd out and talk about a particular topic that you are deeply interested in/ obsessed with, requires you to unveil part of yourself. Your personality, your affection, your love for that topic. Often, it feels like dancing in the symphony of that subject(my analogy is very consumed, but I feel it holds true here).

When making decisions in life, especially when we are faced with selecting between two events, we find ourselves comparing how important they are in order to determine which event we should choose. Some people study the implications of each decision and measure how rewarding or penalizing the outcomes might be. Picking the least penalty is a tactic for choosing a decision under this scenario.

Everyone is atheist until the plane starts falling. I have no clue who said this. The numerous different stories that act as catalysts for returning to God and thinking about the existence of a grand designer or creator, shared by people across the globe, are interesting. There are a variety of patterns, and often the most interesting ones are those concluded through epistemic rationality rather than convenience or bias—where there was evidence that God existed, for them.

do things badly

As the years pass by, I find myself adapting to different reasons to keep living, and to share, I’m not as clear as I used to be about why I should be posting something publicly, but looking back over the years, I recall how writing started. How reasons changed.