Posts
“What you can’t say owns you. what you hide controls you.” — something my brother Mustafa kept as a bio, somewhere around 2016
I do not complain about the life I am living.
I do not point fingers at the surroundings anymore.
I used to do that, a lot, but I stopped.
now I look inward and stay there.
and sometimes a quiet question rises.
what if I never stopped blaming the world and allowed it to carry my pain for me.
what if naming the environment was easier than naming myself.
A friend of mine called Mahmoud , I have loved this friend so much. unfortunately he was also a victim of my constant avoidance , but we are good now. Mahmoud and I were completely different personalities, yet something linked us at the core. thankfully to this relationship, I finally had a name for it. we were the only ones who allowed themselves to get lost.
when it comes to giving advice, I’ve become economical with my words. I take things slowly, often saying maybe later, or not now.
sometimes distance doesn’t change how much you know someone.
It only changes how helpless you feel watching them from afar.
People often mistake my quiet and nerdy appearance for having a specific type. they assume I prefer introverted friends, or that I naturally gravitate toward people who love science, numbers, psychology, and all the things I seem to be interested in. they think similarity is the easiest way to reach me.