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You’ve probably heard someone say that time management is the key. schedules, blocks, wake up earlier, compress the day. people will say this is how you build a productive life, a good life, a life where you end the day feeling satisfied. I don’t use that term, and I have never mentioned it in the most recent years. and that’s because I think it’s the wrong game entirely.
It is not time management. it is energy management. and the moment you understand that distinction, of finally knowing that how it felt, the contrast between your sharpest days and your worst, everything I need to hear was this term, and then everything reorganized.
If the first thing to accept is that you’re not managing time, you’re managing energy , the second thing is asking where the energy is actually going. because it doesn’t just disappear. it goes somewhere else. and most of the time it’s going to things you’d never guess were costing you anything.
I don’t like productivity tips. they just give you the schedule. and that’s truly like naming the car should cruise in this highway, without understanding the mechanics of how and why.
Humans are full of love. full of empathy at their core. they were born to love, not to hate. the state of hate costs a man more than loving ever could, loving prospers, hate drains. you can feel this in the texture of any given day. the meaning you pull from it, the power you feel inside it, it traces back almost always to the love you’re carrying. for a mother, a father, a brother, a sister, a lover. a man is full of those emotions.
Today I went to change my fragrance. the first choice wasn’t available, Bleu de Chanel, gone. so I moved to the second tier, and those weren’t there either. I ended up at the third tier, which is where I found the Afnan Supremacy collection, and after trying another two options or so options, 9PM Afnan, a few others from the Afnan line, I landed on Supremacy Oud, paid, and left.
My friend Yahia once asked me how I coordinate between everything on my plate. not how I manage the volume, he understood that part. what he wanted to know was how I handle the context switch. one hour I’m deep in SQL queries and database design. the next I’m reading a machine learning paper. how does that work, he asked. how does the mind move between places that different without losing something.
I miss Abdalwahab.
He used to be the only colorful thing in my grey days. and this Eid I felt his absence, not constantly, but every time your heart tries and search / looking for something familiar and finds nothing there. I was surrounded by people and I’m, and none of it touched the specific place he occupies. that is what frightens me about this kind of missing. it isn’t general loneliness. it is targeted, I can’t search for something, the ache for a particular person that no number of other people can fill the space the left, because they are not a type, they are a person, and there is only one of them.