State of Numbness

Early to rise early to bed, makes a man healthy but socially dead fantasy character quote

one things that i’m sure about is that I don’t miss people easily, not that I don’t bare people, or I’m antisocial. but I keep myself busy to the point I forget about the people. I feel sorry for myself and for the people I know that I’m emotionally inactive when I need it. I tend to compensate that with my words, actions and sometimes care.

if I sound lazy just ignore my tune, because I’m always gonna answer when you call my phone

but I wish if I were more … emotionally active at the time, if I was just able to concentrate all our previous moments together when saying goodbye, if I could be aware of the consequences.

I consider the ability to Feel and respond emotionally when needed in our everyday life as a gift, i admire people who have it. its a gate for happiness and being human. but that’s not me… I’ve always been the type of person who tend to realize the shocks late. during this recent period of my life I was very bad at concentrating the feelings at the given time I should. when I say goodbye or when I’m having a gratitude moment with someone. the feelings stray and fade at the time, even if I was the one who hold the deeper realization of the situation emotionally. but the chemical never react… I’ll always be the one who is responding emotionally late. rather it decides to hit me alone. randomly at work, when eating. I start to miss people, places, stupid things I may never paid much attention to. but then I discover that I loved it. I love people in this earth, some of out there love me more than I love myself. I always say to myself they deserve better than myself. someone who could visit them more often, present something tangible, never letting the social berries or limits set by whats known to present your best to them.

Ahmed Alghali 2025-06-22